Day 20


 Today I started my day in reading the next couple chapters in the reading plan, Abraham passes away after Isaac has a bride. What was interesting in this scripture was that Issac committed the same sin as his dad in having his wife pretend to be his sister.  The king he did this too is speculated to be the same king that Abraham did.  I share this to say that our God is merciful.  The promise given to Abraham was affirmed to Isaac.  God wants relationship with us.  

Even in spending beautiful time with our ABBA this morning, I still struggled.   So, I had to dig deep.  Snow fell again last night meaning cleaning the car off for the fourth time this week, at least it feels like the fourth time.  I dream of a day when I can choose my own schedule, going out staying in.  but I am not at that place right now in my life.  I had to turn to thankfulness.   Thankful for a new vehicle that I feel warm and safe in my travels.   A job to go to, health in a world that health is being battled.  I hear people talk about seasons and how they are enjoying the winter season.   I know they all have their purpose. And are beneficial.  But the struggle is real.  I take a breath deep in.  In reality, I have much much more to be thankful for, and I know that He blesses me so. I again think about Abraham, it isn't about being perfect because to think that we can be is lying to ourselves. Honestly, I am tired of being self-focused because I think that makes me a consumer and I want to be a provider, a supplier of peace to others.   I see the sadness and depth of loss that is happening right now.  There is not a day that I don't read or hear of a struggle someone is facing or I do not hear about a death.  Today, I heard of three deaths, three....  So many peopled need presence even in silence, comfort in the know that they are not alone but honestly self-focus is consuming.  

I end this evening, thankful for the peace that came.   That I get to see beauty even when I would want to be tucked in.  And honestly, I am thankful for who He created me to be. For beauty He provided me today.  He gives me glimpses that keep me looking for Him.  I may not always hear Him, but I see Him.  




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