Day 11

 

In my reading this morning in Job, he  he is lamenting the way he used to be, Job was missing who he was, respected by other people, looked at for wisdom, caring for others but mostly his friendship with God.  In listening to the podcast, she pointed this out and was asking the question of herself, was God in her house, did she have that kind of relationship with God.   She stated that friendship takes time with each other and trust in each other. 

I began wondering if I treat God like I do others, a simple text rather than a phone call to listen to the sound of their voice to know how they really are doing or for them to really hear my hear my tone.  I have been wrestling the past few about is my time with God a to do list that I check off as just another task of the day.  Do I have a deep intimacy with Him or simply text and go.  

Honestly, I do not think these times make real relationship easy, there is such a standard of hear me, see me that we do not acknowledge the other persons need for the same.   I am thinking of the last time there was honest conversation with someone.   Probably the most honest conversation was with the friend I met a couple of weeks ago who is doing this study with me.  I even apologized for the depth of my honesty, and she told me to not apologize that she wanted to hear me.   What a gift that was and she is a giving person.   I say all this, to say that we do not understand the level of this intimacy.   Where it isn’t about us but about the other person.  Him.  Or who He sits in front of us. 

I know it may sound intense, but I honestly wonder if we really know what genuine relationship is with Him, have we had a genuine conversion experience which is more than reciting a prayer and not seeing a true change in our lives.   I want His light to shine in me and I want people to see that so I can truly share Him with them.  I want to be the person they trust the honest conversation with and know they were heard.   This world does not promote relationships, true relationships but can we be the change.   That is where I get Job today, I want to know when I miss Him, when I have stepped a different direction or am in the midst of a struggle.   I want to know that depth or relationship and not the heart that can be iced over from struggles and life in general.   



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